The Fear

Nobody’s really afraid of the dark.  Or else you’d be dribbling urine with every blink, instead of only when you try to convince yourself that there isn’t a mutant alpaca frothing with rabies in your closet and waiting for the chance to tear into your carotid artery the moment you separate from your yellow blankey.  … More The Fear

On Kissing the Love Interest After You’ve Just Saved the World From Imminent Destruction

You’ve done it.  You saved the world.  Now, you’re standing in a giant crater, post-imminent apocalyptic wind is blowing hopefully.  Somehow you managed to keep all of your teeth.  And there she is:  the Love Interest.  Oh, you’ve been more than interested.  You awkwardly fumble through every scenario where she accidentally touches your arm after … More On Kissing the Love Interest After You’ve Just Saved the World From Imminent Destruction

8 Tips for a FANTASTIC Morning (when your bitch-ass roommate sleeps longer than you and you have to make him pay for his unforgivable transgression)!!

1.  Hit your snooze button. Honestly, who’s ready to jump immediately out of bed after their alarm clock goes off?  Those people are obviously soulless approximations of humans that pretend to be asleep so they can escape the terrifying nightmare that they now call their married lives.  We, thank the Lorax, aren’t those people.  There’s … More 8 Tips for a FANTASTIC Morning (when your bitch-ass roommate sleeps longer than you and you have to make him pay for his unforgivable transgression)!!