As much as I love your attempts to be as productive as you are passive-aggressive, I’m going to have to ask you to stop. Stop writing 6-15 words on an obnoxiously luminescent piece of scrap with inferior glue on it and posting them everywhere. Stop substituting interpersonal skills for Mickey Mouse prints and flowery initials. … More An Open Letter to People Who Write Sticky Notes
1. Running sucks. 2. Being sweaty for hours is miserable and foul. 3. I haven’t run in over two years. 4. The last time I ran, I was running from the police. 5. Are hot girls gonna be there? 6. Because if hot girls are gonna be there, then I may be able to make … More Top Reasons to Decline an Invitation to Run a 5k (Ft. Listina)
1. Hit your snooze button. Honestly, who’s ready to jump immediately out of bed after their alarm clock goes off? Those people are obviously soulless approximations of humans that pretend to be asleep so they can escape the terrifying nightmare that they now call their married lives. We, thank the Lorax, aren’t those people. There’s … More 8 Tips for a FANTASTIC Morning (when your bitch-ass roommate sleeps longer than you and you have to make him pay for his unforgivable transgression)!!